The renowned Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran remarks, “Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution” and this to a large extent sums up the person His Eminence Anthony Soter Cardinal Fernandez was to many people. To me, apart from his tender and kind nature which I have experienced in so many ways, he was man of paradoxes… small in stature yet  assertive in presence; unafraid to stand up for a just cause but always ready to back down if reconciliation was attainable; quick to reprimand when things went wrong but never far from putting his arms around the shoulder of someone in pain; loved his spicy food but mindful and willing to compromise if the other had a weak stomach;  if he had something important to inform  or a task to assign, he would always enquire about your wellbeing first. This is the unique nature of the man that I have gotten to know and much admire over the years.

Many will remember his legacy as being the first Malaysian to be honoured by any Pope as Cardinal but in truth, honorary titles mattered little to him as a person. I am told that he has in the past declined other titles that were offered to him probably knowing it was no measure of a man. I remember vividly my first encounter with him when he was then the Bishop of Penang.  He exuded an aura that emanated not from being the Bishop but an aura rooted so genuinely in being a caring and generous “father-figure” – a persona he carried off spectacularly well with the cherubic face and warm smile that he had.

One of the funniest encounters I had with Cardinal Soter was when I once found myself standing ahead of him in a queue. I felt a sudden tap on my back and instinctively turned, for a split second due to the height difference, I did not see anyone at my eye-level. Only as I looked down, I realised it was the Archbishop of Kuala Lumpur. His quick witty remark was … “I have to look up to you all the time”. My spontaneous response to him, “I certainly don’t look down on you”! While it was an in-the moment remark made in jest, its meaning rings so true in the view I have held of this great man. His strength, simplicity and humility towered above many others who held positions of leadership and influence.

In remembering His Eminence, I find it most fitting to draw from another Gibran quote where he states, , “your living is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens”. Cardinal Soter as he is fondly known exemplified this in true form. Not only was able to share his good qualities with others, he also had the knack of bringing out the best in others. He possessed qualities and discernment that no institution could ever teach or impart. He had the capacity to relate to life, to people and to all issues that came his way with wisdom, perseverance and fortitude. 

Now the time has come for him to look down on me from the great heavens above, probably even whining about all the fuss being put into the arrangements for his funeral. For someone who shunned all pomp and glory, the private and quiet funeral probably bears true witness to the person that he was. It is certainly not what most of us would have desired in a final farewell for him given his illustrious life not only as a prince of the Church but above all, a tender and kind man, loved by many.

The great Christian theologian St Augustine said, “No eulogy is due to him who simply does his duty and nothing more”. On this occasion, I would like to paraphrase those words to say, “no eulogy would suffice and do justice to him who simply gave his all for family, Church, and country. For it is his life that speaks, not his death”.

Tenderness, kindness, simplicity and humility — qualities that were earthed in his Christian faith, qualities that clothed his life so richly. With his passing may we too seek to put on afresh, in our own lives and the life of our nation and world, the qualities Cardinal Soter embodied. Let that be part of his legacy, part of our tribute.

Rest in peace, Cardinal Soter. The memories you leave behind will be fondly remembered and cherished by me and many others too, surely!

Published @ The Malaysian Insight
30 Oct 2020